What do you have the hardest time giving?

My heart. I have a hard time letting people in. I have a hard time letting others love me. And it's silly because I would willingly give up an organ, money, or my life for my love ones or strangers even. But I guess I'm afraid. I'm afraid that I might get accustomed to someone loving me, someone being that good to me, someone always being there. And what if they leave me? What then? Cause, I'll be devastated. And it might take me quite a while to pick myself back up again. (I'll be fine, just takes a while, and in the meantime, life is semi-crappy, and I might indulge in unhealthy relationships.) But I'm trying to change that. And I'm trying to be better. I've discovered the true meaning of love this past couple of months, and I've found the best guy I've known, and I'm taking a risk. I don't know how it'll all turn out, but he's entirely worth the risk. And even if it doesn't work out, it'll hurt like hell, but I have and will and am currently learning a lot about myself, him, and love, so it's all worth it. And I know that if we do what's right, if we keep ourselves in tune with the Lord, He will never forsake us nor lead us astray. The Lord loves us and knows us better than we do ourselves, and whatever outcome he desires of us will be better than we ourselves can ever imagine or create.